Wow. This one is a bummer, right? To be honest, this hasn't happened. At the end of my worst days I remember I still have both arms and legs and a place to sleep. So life isn't that bad, right? Right!
Day 04 - Recall a time when you thought of ending your life
These prompts get more and more personal. Sweet Jesus. I will write about something we all can relate to. You are in class. You may or may not have prepared for it. But, today is the day. You have to give your presentation for the class. You haven't seen any other presentations yet, so you never knew what your competition was up to. To make the situation worse you are not presenting first.
Let me explain why not presenting earlier rather than later is worse. The teacher up until this point has yet to see what other students in your pool of peers have orchestrated for their presentations. And of course the overachievers are going first. They have handouts, a world-class power point presentation in 3D or whatever, an activity for the whole group to learn from, and a speech with no note cards. Their presentation is so damn entertaining that you forget that you have to go up. And once the presentation is over and everyone is finished cheering and throwing bouquets of flowers at the feet of someone that spent too much time researching the history of Mexico, the fear rushes back that at some point you will have to present yourself. And presenting near the end of the class everyone has presented and they are relieved and at ease which means they have a higher ability to pay attention to you when it's your turn. Which brings more pressure.
Then people get picked off one by one as you stare at clock. Presentation after presentation is just one big blur. You can not recall one thing that has been said in the last half hour cause you are fixated on your own impending doom. You are hoping by some miracle there won't be enough time for you to have to go up but know there will be. You are also hoping that somehow the teacher will just forget that you are a person in the class and skip you completely. And then, you think if an anvil was fall on your head, or if an arm fell off that you wouldn't have to do this. You are looking at your note cards with panic, knowing you have forgotten the pathetic 5 minutes of information you stole from Wikipedia. Could life get worse at that point? Anytime that I have to make a presentation is when I've thought of killing myself. It has never been over anything important.
Be safe out there.
Jack
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Day 03 - Your views on religion
That last one was kind of serious, especially for a fun subject let's laugh through this one. Wait, it's on religion. Well, at least I am not religious
Day 03 - Your view on religion
(Watch me high school this intro.) Religion, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is "the service and worship of God or the supernatural." (Okay, I'm done high schooling)That being said, its harmless and okay by me. That is, until people get involved. People are by far the worst thing that ever happened to themselves. Everyone has their two cents about how everyone else should live and they are jamming these ideas down throats like quarters in an arcade game. More often than you think, they derive from religious beliefs. Even our higher ranking members of society, or at least ones that hold the most power, our politicians, stand firmly with their political beliefs - to the point where it impedes their ability to do the right thing for everyone. I'm not sure if that's what they really believe, or they are too afraid to not side with the book of the lord for public image. Like the polls don't speak for themselves.
People involved with religion also have sex with kids, most notably priests. That's the joke and the disgusting truth.
Religious organizations are a burden to the progress and social evolution in the world today. Religions, as an entity oppress the shit out of women, condemn the gays, and segregate the population as a whole. At what point do we say "this shit sucks" and drop our bibles in the dirt? Speaking of bibles, they were written too long ago be be relevant. They along with organized religions had to have been designed to keep people from running a muck. They outline these rules on what to do and what not to do based on some good principles. The parts that don't apply to us now, the way I see it, were set to over compensate for how crazy people were in the year 100 or whatever. Think of it this way (and I'm paraphrasing my good friend Doug Stanhope) if you were to walk into a used book store and stumble upon a bible without anyone knowing of its existence until you picked it up, how long could you read it until you said "this is stupid." And which would be more likely to happen, you stop reading it because of its inapplicable content to daily life, or say "hey, this is what I've been looking for."?
And what about Bob? - I mean God. Look, I do not know if there is a being greater than us, but considering the odds of living in a infinite universe, there may be, whatever it or they may be. I do feel as though there has to be some being greater than us. There has to be because we aren't so great. The only way that I think, and this is after me pacing the earth for 26 years, that we do see the man in the clouds is at death. Like at the end of a puppet show when the puppeteer comes out and we all clap and say "Great job, you creep. Get a real job." I say that in death we would meet this God figure because he certainly does not appear to be present in life. Take a look around. Things ain't so great in the world. Aside from dogs existing, everything needs a fixing.
I don't think I covered everything. But I've gone too far to look back. see you tomorrow, stupidheads.
Look up, and shake your fists (at God... because of famine and Katrina and the next Nicholas Cage movie and the one after that et cetera),
Jack
Day 03 - Your view on religion
(Watch me high school this intro.) Religion, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is "the service and worship of God or the supernatural." (Okay, I'm done high schooling)That being said, its harmless and okay by me. That is, until people get involved. People are by far the worst thing that ever happened to themselves. Everyone has their two cents about how everyone else should live and they are jamming these ideas down throats like quarters in an arcade game. More often than you think, they derive from religious beliefs. Even our higher ranking members of society, or at least ones that hold the most power, our politicians, stand firmly with their political beliefs - to the point where it impedes their ability to do the right thing for everyone. I'm not sure if that's what they really believe, or they are too afraid to not side with the book of the lord for public image. Like the polls don't speak for themselves.
People involved with religion also have sex with kids, most notably priests. That's the joke and the disgusting truth.
Religious organizations are a burden to the progress and social evolution in the world today. Religions, as an entity oppress the shit out of women, condemn the gays, and segregate the population as a whole. At what point do we say "this shit sucks" and drop our bibles in the dirt? Speaking of bibles, they were written too long ago be be relevant. They along with organized religions had to have been designed to keep people from running a muck. They outline these rules on what to do and what not to do based on some good principles. The parts that don't apply to us now, the way I see it, were set to over compensate for how crazy people were in the year 100 or whatever. Think of it this way (and I'm paraphrasing my good friend Doug Stanhope) if you were to walk into a used book store and stumble upon a bible without anyone knowing of its existence until you picked it up, how long could you read it until you said "this is stupid." And which would be more likely to happen, you stop reading it because of its inapplicable content to daily life, or say "hey, this is what I've been looking for."?
And what about Bob? - I mean God. Look, I do not know if there is a being greater than us, but considering the odds of living in a infinite universe, there may be, whatever it or they may be. I do feel as though there has to be some being greater than us. There has to be because we aren't so great. The only way that I think, and this is after me pacing the earth for 26 years, that we do see the man in the clouds is at death. Like at the end of a puppet show when the puppeteer comes out and we all clap and say "Great job, you creep. Get a real job." I say that in death we would meet this God figure because he certainly does not appear to be present in life. Take a look around. Things ain't so great in the world. Aside from dogs existing, everything needs a fixing.
I don't think I covered everything. But I've gone too far to look back. see you tomorrow, stupidheads.
Look up, and shake your fists (at God... because of famine and Katrina and the next Nicholas Cage movie and the one after that et cetera),
Jack
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Day 02 - Your views on drugs and alcohol
Okay, so, today was supposed to be about "where i'd like to be in 10 years" but to avoid such a self-absorbed entry after the previous self-absorbed entry, I'll skip a day and probably go back to it at another time. Talking about myself all of the time can only get so interesting for a blog.
So here goes day 2
Day 02 - Your views on drugs and alcohol
Drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs. Where to begin? This would have been a better discussion for yesterday in celebration for the prohibition repeal, but what's done is done.
Well, speaking generally, drugs can be both good and bad. Some are more dangerous than others, which is an issue, and people are not informed enough about them. So, these factors are contributors to the issues surrounding drugs. Government is not accepting enough to the idea of them, to the point where they do not allow testing of them, and so the population remains ignorant to their capabilities. We live in an uptight, fear motivating country.
I've been listening to the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast and after listening to many discussions on the topics of drugs, I have come to the conclusion that drugs, especially psychedelics, are more often abused because of the lack of knowledge of their effects. What advice could be given to those is to research anything before consumption and respect the process. What would be cool is if there were guides for these experiences much like in south america with ayawaska. It would be much safer, people would learn how much and what to consume and what the effects would be.
Weed is considered an issue by the government but in comparison to something like alcohol, it is significantly less harmful, though alcohol is legal. This is something that the potheads are in a huff about. I get it. I don't smoke weeds, but I would be just as upset is alcohol was illegal and pot was legal. Things are moving in the right direction for those people considering holding weed is now about as wrong as a parking ticket. One thing that I think is holding the US of A back from legalizing the marajawayway is taxation. Since alcohol and tobacco are taxed they are A-okay, even though they can be more addictive and many times over more harmful than weeds.
Alcohol is my only "drug" of choice. Nobody judges the occasional drinkers as much as the other drug users. What I've never understood is the alcoholics. I could never imagine just drinking heavily everyday. Do they not dehydrate? What's the deal? People that smoke weed can do it everyday and function, but drinking everyday? That would be crazy.
So what do we do with the people that are addicted to something like crack or whatever? Is there a cure? Rehab may get them off but they always seem to get back on. They just keep cycling the off and on drug lifestyle. I heard recently, that mushrooms could be used to "reset" the human mind, however I'm not sure if this was a study from years ago. higher yet safe amounts of mushrooms were thought to be used to cure addiction of many kinds. Again, I'm not sure what the details were on that. So don't go taking viscous amounts of shrooms to cure your addiction to Dungeons or Dragons or whatever your problem is. Just saying. Anyway the US restricts testing of these things so we'll never really know.
I need to stop to nap before work. Sorry this couldn't have been funnier. Wait, no I'm not.
Be cool,
Ross
So here goes day 2
Day 02 - Your views on drugs and alcohol
Drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs. Where to begin? This would have been a better discussion for yesterday in celebration for the prohibition repeal, but what's done is done.
Well, speaking generally, drugs can be both good and bad. Some are more dangerous than others, which is an issue, and people are not informed enough about them. So, these factors are contributors to the issues surrounding drugs. Government is not accepting enough to the idea of them, to the point where they do not allow testing of them, and so the population remains ignorant to their capabilities. We live in an uptight, fear motivating country.
I've been listening to the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast and after listening to many discussions on the topics of drugs, I have come to the conclusion that drugs, especially psychedelics, are more often abused because of the lack of knowledge of their effects. What advice could be given to those is to research anything before consumption and respect the process. What would be cool is if there were guides for these experiences much like in south america with ayawaska. It would be much safer, people would learn how much and what to consume and what the effects would be.
Weed is considered an issue by the government but in comparison to something like alcohol, it is significantly less harmful, though alcohol is legal. This is something that the potheads are in a huff about. I get it. I don't smoke weeds, but I would be just as upset is alcohol was illegal and pot was legal. Things are moving in the right direction for those people considering holding weed is now about as wrong as a parking ticket. One thing that I think is holding the US of A back from legalizing the marajawayway is taxation. Since alcohol and tobacco are taxed they are A-okay, even though they can be more addictive and many times over more harmful than weeds.
Alcohol is my only "drug" of choice. Nobody judges the occasional drinkers as much as the other drug users. What I've never understood is the alcoholics. I could never imagine just drinking heavily everyday. Do they not dehydrate? What's the deal? People that smoke weed can do it everyday and function, but drinking everyday? That would be crazy.
So what do we do with the people that are addicted to something like crack or whatever? Is there a cure? Rehab may get them off but they always seem to get back on. They just keep cycling the off and on drug lifestyle. I heard recently, that mushrooms could be used to "reset" the human mind, however I'm not sure if this was a study from years ago. higher yet safe amounts of mushrooms were thought to be used to cure addiction of many kinds. Again, I'm not sure what the details were on that. So don't go taking viscous amounts of shrooms to cure your addiction to Dungeons or Dragons or whatever your problem is. Just saying. Anyway the US restricts testing of these things so we'll never really know.
I need to stop to nap before work. Sorry this couldn't have been funnier. Wait, no I'm not.
Be cool,
Ross
Monday, December 5, 2011
Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
Okay, So to preface this, the writing you may or may not see for the next 30 days is part of this exercise to get me writing more. Specifically on random (does the fact that I said specific and random so close to each other make any sense?)topics without preparation of any kind to see what happens. For reading pleasure I will try as hard as I can to make a funny or two.
Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
Day 01 - My current relationship is a lack thereof... with other people that is. I engage in relations with myself a couple times per day. It's a great time. I'm always happy to see me. But seriously, my relationship status is single. It has been that way for a while. It is hard to say whether or not I am single because I suck at talking to women, which I do, or whether or not I'm just terrible at picking up on social cues from women. After typing that I may realize that it is perhaps a combination of both.
When talking to women especially to a new LAIDEE (if you didn't read that as if Jerry Lewis said it, go back and read it again accordingly), I really don't know what to say. I mean, aside from the polite "hello, how are you?" bullshit, I'm not sure what to say. For the most part I'm trying really hard not to say "I want to do you." Mainly because I'm sure that wouldn't work and I'm constantly trying too hard not to come across as a creep. That in itself may be creepy but whatever. So I feel like the less that I say, the better. But, that leaves me to seem uninteresting, which is something to avoid too. Who wants to even know someone that is uninteresting, you know? So aside from the polite "hi and bye" shit, my mind thinks of something Larry Davidesque about the current situation, which ends up being less creepy than "I want to do you" but stranger than nothing at all. An example of a Larry Davidesque comment to be made would be like "Ever notice that no matter how many napkins a restaurant gives you it's never enough?" or some stupid like that. To which there is no reply. It's a time like that I wish I could hear the other person's thoughts. I'm sure they are nothing short of hilarious. I'm also not one to talk about myself really. I think if you are a person that just goes on and on firing off your facecanon about what your favorite thing about yourself is or what you would do with a billion dollars, then you need to cut the ish. Nobody could ever be that interested in what you have to say. So, I avoid being too self absorbed as well.
So getting back on track let's discuss social cues. Touching. I'm not really a touchy type of guy. I enjoy my personal space, especially the elbow room. If anyone is touching me even in the slightest way I find it odd, well unless it's business time. In that case it's awesome and I say bring it on. But outside of that context, I find it off putting. Mainly because like I already said, I like my space, but I also find it a pompous thing to do. Maybe I didn't use the right word there. I don't know perfectly what pompous means, but I think people that just walk up and put an arm around you or grab your arm while telling you a story are taking too much liberty. What makes them think they can go around touching? I think if I ever pulled that I'd be in maced and cuffed in no time at all. Also, general talking. I'm never sure if someone is being polite or if they are actually interested. If a woman that I know gives a cheerful greeting, I'm not sure if it is just politeness or out of interest. Most of the time, I assume its politeness. I try not to make any amount of attention that I get from a LAIDEE (Jerry Lewis style, you should remember this if you are going to be reading other posts) a big deal. I feel like a creep would only do that. Again, avoiding the life of a creep. <--Should be my campaign slogan.
I'm going to throw in that I hardly ever meet anyone new. The pool of women that I know are just people that I know. Since they are who they are, people that I know, (I am Dr. Suess, cats out the bag) they have no longer become an option to pursue, at least that's they way I feel it should be. You can't know someone for years and then all of a sudden "Hey, let's go on a date" (or whatever the kids say these days). And if you meet a LAIDEE from friends I feel like its somewhat of a incestuous pursuit because they are part of the friends group. If I go to a bar, I will more than likely not go up to a LAIDEE (getting tired of this yet?) mainly because I fear the inevitable rejection. I mean, how awesome of an approach could I possibly make? (Revisit my inability to talk to women) There is something not so genuine about approaching a woman at a - anywhere really, location doesn't matter. Let's say for instance there is an attractive LAIDEE in the bar, her friend walks away and so you step up and complement her cowboy boots and matching silly hat, whether or not you are sincere or totally lying, your end game is getting into her cowboy pants (Booya). So, what's the deal? If a LAIDEE is reading this until now, could you please respond with your input on that? Like, I have to imagine, as a LAIDEE, you know all guys want to do you all of the time. So any interaction with a guy is this dance of obsurdity and about hiding the fact the he wants to do sex to you. What's the other side to this?
Have I exhausted all aspects of my singleness? For now, yes. I'd talk about online dating, but I'd be running into my stand up material, and I think it's cheap to force comedic material into conversation or writing. I feel guilty not giving you my all on the first day, but I should pace myself. It's going to be a long month.
So, for now, live slow and die hard.
Ross
Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
Day 01 - My current relationship is a lack thereof... with other people that is. I engage in relations with myself a couple times per day. It's a great time. I'm always happy to see me. But seriously, my relationship status is single. It has been that way for a while. It is hard to say whether or not I am single because I suck at talking to women, which I do, or whether or not I'm just terrible at picking up on social cues from women. After typing that I may realize that it is perhaps a combination of both.
When talking to women especially to a new LAIDEE (if you didn't read that as if Jerry Lewis said it, go back and read it again accordingly), I really don't know what to say. I mean, aside from the polite "hello, how are you?" bullshit, I'm not sure what to say. For the most part I'm trying really hard not to say "I want to do you." Mainly because I'm sure that wouldn't work and I'm constantly trying too hard not to come across as a creep. That in itself may be creepy but whatever. So I feel like the less that I say, the better. But, that leaves me to seem uninteresting, which is something to avoid too. Who wants to even know someone that is uninteresting, you know? So aside from the polite "hi and bye" shit, my mind thinks of something Larry Davidesque about the current situation, which ends up being less creepy than "I want to do you" but stranger than nothing at all. An example of a Larry Davidesque comment to be made would be like "Ever notice that no matter how many napkins a restaurant gives you it's never enough?" or some stupid like that. To which there is no reply. It's a time like that I wish I could hear the other person's thoughts. I'm sure they are nothing short of hilarious. I'm also not one to talk about myself really. I think if you are a person that just goes on and on firing off your facecanon about what your favorite thing about yourself is or what you would do with a billion dollars, then you need to cut the ish. Nobody could ever be that interested in what you have to say. So, I avoid being too self absorbed as well.
So getting back on track let's discuss social cues. Touching. I'm not really a touchy type of guy. I enjoy my personal space, especially the elbow room. If anyone is touching me even in the slightest way I find it odd, well unless it's business time. In that case it's awesome and I say bring it on. But outside of that context, I find it off putting. Mainly because like I already said, I like my space, but I also find it a pompous thing to do. Maybe I didn't use the right word there. I don't know perfectly what pompous means, but I think people that just walk up and put an arm around you or grab your arm while telling you a story are taking too much liberty. What makes them think they can go around touching? I think if I ever pulled that I'd be in maced and cuffed in no time at all. Also, general talking. I'm never sure if someone is being polite or if they are actually interested. If a woman that I know gives a cheerful greeting, I'm not sure if it is just politeness or out of interest. Most of the time, I assume its politeness. I try not to make any amount of attention that I get from a LAIDEE (Jerry Lewis style, you should remember this if you are going to be reading other posts) a big deal. I feel like a creep would only do that. Again, avoiding the life of a creep. <--Should be my campaign slogan.
I'm going to throw in that I hardly ever meet anyone new. The pool of women that I know are just people that I know. Since they are who they are, people that I know, (I am Dr. Suess, cats out the bag) they have no longer become an option to pursue, at least that's they way I feel it should be. You can't know someone for years and then all of a sudden "Hey, let's go on a date" (or whatever the kids say these days). And if you meet a LAIDEE from friends I feel like its somewhat of a incestuous pursuit because they are part of the friends group. If I go to a bar, I will more than likely not go up to a LAIDEE (getting tired of this yet?) mainly because I fear the inevitable rejection. I mean, how awesome of an approach could I possibly make? (Revisit my inability to talk to women) There is something not so genuine about approaching a woman at a - anywhere really, location doesn't matter. Let's say for instance there is an attractive LAIDEE in the bar, her friend walks away and so you step up and complement her cowboy boots and matching silly hat, whether or not you are sincere or totally lying, your end game is getting into her cowboy pants (Booya). So, what's the deal? If a LAIDEE is reading this until now, could you please respond with your input on that? Like, I have to imagine, as a LAIDEE, you know all guys want to do you all of the time. So any interaction with a guy is this dance of obsurdity and about hiding the fact the he wants to do sex to you. What's the other side to this?
Have I exhausted all aspects of my singleness? For now, yes. I'd talk about online dating, but I'd be running into my stand up material, and I think it's cheap to force comedic material into conversation or writing. I feel guilty not giving you my all on the first day, but I should pace myself. It's going to be a long month.
So, for now, live slow and die hard.
Ross
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Is V is for Responsible too?
This is somewhat of a sensitive subject, so, I have to touch on it. About a month ago we heard in the news of a man that entered a school board meeting and held people hostage, ultimately dieing with what appears to be an attempt to kill others but in the end, only himself. This may be something of a stretch but when I heard the details of this story, the largest school killing spree came to mind, Columbine Massacre. Although, the only thing that appears to be linking the two (Columbine High School Massacre and the Florida School Board Shooting) together is possibly the word "school," I would like to set that aside the locations of the shootings which is completely arbitrary to the connection that I am trying to make. The word school only helped me think of the reason in which I see a connection. It will take a moment to understand, so let me set this up right with a bit of context.
When the shooting at Columbine happened in 1999, out in Colorado, it was the most shocking story since the JonBenet Ramsey bullshit and the everlong OJ Simpson trial. But, here have a couple of pimple-faced nerds planning an ultimate revenge on their peers whom have possibly bullied them or whatever. (What they did was insane and shitty, and I speak for everyone when I say that I hope they are getting constantly raped in hell for it.) Now, the media went crazy with this story. They tried to explain the situation by looking for a reason or cause for it all, when in reality, if you are someone trying to mass murder people there probably isn't much of a reason or a cause other than you are a crazy person - I mean, they certainly weren't defending themselves. But, then came the media saying they were influenced by the music of the dark, eerie, scary, transexual-like Marilyn Manson. Now, Marylin Manson doesn't produce the the kind of tunes that I like to grab and earful of, but clearly the media was shifting the responsibilities of actions of the two turdish high school seniors onto MM. And simply put, "When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school, And they blame it on Marilyn." (Thanks to Eminem, for the clarity of his words) So, this transpired a whole fight against Marilyn Manson and generally any music artist that speaks his/her mind whether or not he/she is fully in their right one (mind, that is), while also bringing up issues over gun control.
So, when I read the papers last month and heard about the ex-convict, whose wife was recently fired, that held a school council board meeting, I was blown away by the details of the account. This man, I don't know his real name and do not feel like looking it up to break my stream of thought here so we'll call him Chucky Cheese, went to the meeting armed with a gun, a bullet proof vest, and a can of spray paint. Yes, a can of spray paint. He used this to draw a big circle on the wall with a equally large "V" inside of it. Chucky Cheese then let a large amount of the innocent go freely while he discusses his wife's loss of a job. The circle with the "V" in it looked very familiar at first and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until I read about how that symbol was featured in the widely popular movie "V is for Vendetta" which is also a comic book by the way, but anyway. Now, at this point, a feeble, old woman tries to save the day by sneaking through the doorway and swinging her empty purse at the 250lb Chucky Cheese. Seriously, old lady? (That detail has nothing to do with the point of this, but I had to bring up how dumb it was and looked in the video. Fun Fact: she sold the purse on EBAY for $13,000) So the story of Chucky Cheese holding up a school board meeting ends with the firing of his own gun... at himself.
The two Columbine losers only listened to the music of Marilyn Manson, so why was his name all over the news like he possessed the students into mass murder? Why was he to blame for this? It's not like his lyrics described a situation like this and tempted people to go out and do it. Now, going back to Chucky Cheese at the school board, who was obsessed with V is For Vendetta. Why wasn't this movie or the filmmakers to blame for this incident? The guy spray painted the V sign on the wall and was clearly influenced by the movie to some degree. I'm not saying this movie should be on trial for the incident or even blamed in any way, but I think this goes further into something else. We have Marilyn Manson, a guy people were just waiting to have a reason to chew out and "V is for Vendetta" an internationally recognized comic and film that moved the hearts of many. The difference I believe I see here is that the movie V is something the people like and so the people will protect it and say "Well, Chucky Cheese was just a bad guy." But, what about the Columbine clowns, were they good guys that were turned to the darkside by the maniacally-evil Mr. Manson? I say, no and that they were even more kicked in the head than Mr. School Board Cheese. Chucky missed a shot at point blank. You don't miss that shot unless you want to.
By now, the point is hard to see, but, I feel as though the media is playing favoritism with the arts here. "V is for Vendetta" walks freely while Marilyn got reamed. Now, again, I'm not saying either movie or music should be blamed for these incidents other than the two kids and Chucky Cheese. Ultimately, they were the ones committing the acts, but there is a distinction I would like to make and that is V is for Vendetta was clearly more of an influence than Marilyn Manson in these two instances.
However, Marilyn Manson and "V is for Vendetta" are not on trial here, only the absent-minded media.
Bonus: Check out what Marilyn Manson had to say about the Columbine Massacre in the only documentary Michael Moore made that was worth seeing "Bowling For Columbine"
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrHFB2KP8fc )
When the shooting at Columbine happened in 1999, out in Colorado, it was the most shocking story since the JonBenet Ramsey bullshit and the everlong OJ Simpson trial. But, here have a couple of pimple-faced nerds planning an ultimate revenge on their peers whom have possibly bullied them or whatever. (What they did was insane and shitty, and I speak for everyone when I say that I hope they are getting constantly raped in hell for it.) Now, the media went crazy with this story. They tried to explain the situation by looking for a reason or cause for it all, when in reality, if you are someone trying to mass murder people there probably isn't much of a reason or a cause other than you are a crazy person - I mean, they certainly weren't defending themselves. But, then came the media saying they were influenced by the music of the dark, eerie, scary, transexual-like Marilyn Manson. Now, Marylin Manson doesn't produce the the kind of tunes that I like to grab and earful of, but clearly the media was shifting the responsibilities of actions of the two turdish high school seniors onto MM. And simply put, "When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school, And they blame it on Marilyn." (Thanks to Eminem, for the clarity of his words) So, this transpired a whole fight against Marilyn Manson and generally any music artist that speaks his/her mind whether or not he/she is fully in their right one (mind, that is), while also bringing up issues over gun control.
So, when I read the papers last month and heard about the ex-convict, whose wife was recently fired, that held a school council board meeting, I was blown away by the details of the account. This man, I don't know his real name and do not feel like looking it up to break my stream of thought here so we'll call him Chucky Cheese, went to the meeting armed with a gun, a bullet proof vest, and a can of spray paint. Yes, a can of spray paint. He used this to draw a big circle on the wall with a equally large "V" inside of it. Chucky Cheese then let a large amount of the innocent go freely while he discusses his wife's loss of a job. The circle with the "V" in it looked very familiar at first and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until I read about how that symbol was featured in the widely popular movie "V is for Vendetta" which is also a comic book by the way, but anyway. Now, at this point, a feeble, old woman tries to save the day by sneaking through the doorway and swinging her empty purse at the 250lb Chucky Cheese. Seriously, old lady? (That detail has nothing to do with the point of this, but I had to bring up how dumb it was and looked in the video. Fun Fact: she sold the purse on EBAY for $13,000) So the story of Chucky Cheese holding up a school board meeting ends with the firing of his own gun... at himself.
The two Columbine losers only listened to the music of Marilyn Manson, so why was his name all over the news like he possessed the students into mass murder? Why was he to blame for this? It's not like his lyrics described a situation like this and tempted people to go out and do it. Now, going back to Chucky Cheese at the school board, who was obsessed with V is For Vendetta. Why wasn't this movie or the filmmakers to blame for this incident? The guy spray painted the V sign on the wall and was clearly influenced by the movie to some degree. I'm not saying this movie should be on trial for the incident or even blamed in any way, but I think this goes further into something else. We have Marilyn Manson, a guy people were just waiting to have a reason to chew out and "V is for Vendetta" an internationally recognized comic and film that moved the hearts of many. The difference I believe I see here is that the movie V is something the people like and so the people will protect it and say "Well, Chucky Cheese was just a bad guy." But, what about the Columbine clowns, were they good guys that were turned to the darkside by the maniacally-evil Mr. Manson? I say, no and that they were even more kicked in the head than Mr. School Board Cheese. Chucky missed a shot at point blank. You don't miss that shot unless you want to.
By now, the point is hard to see, but, I feel as though the media is playing favoritism with the arts here. "V is for Vendetta" walks freely while Marilyn got reamed. Now, again, I'm not saying either movie or music should be blamed for these incidents other than the two kids and Chucky Cheese. Ultimately, they were the ones committing the acts, but there is a distinction I would like to make and that is V is for Vendetta was clearly more of an influence than Marilyn Manson in these two instances.
However, Marilyn Manson and "V is for Vendetta" are not on trial here, only the absent-minded media.
Bonus: Check out what Marilyn Manson had to say about the Columbine Massacre in the only documentary Michael Moore made that was worth seeing "Bowling For Columbine"
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrHFB2KP8fc )
Monday, December 13, 2010
The New Holidays Are Here
So, it's been a long time since I've made a real post to this blog, and because we are nearing the holidays, I figured that I'd throw my dogs and ladies a bone. This is the Jack Dalton's Holiday Special! If you are reading, stop now, throw some spike in that eggnog and chug on, because it's the most wonderful time of the year.
Jack Dalton is going to be a bit of a ghost of Christmas past for a minute, to remind everyone of how far we have come as a society. The holidays in the 80's, 90's, and 00's were sadly plagued by many things, some even deadly, one of which occurred on the darkest day of the year, Black Friday. Black Friday used to be a day of reckoning, one which was filled with angry hockey dads ripping each other's throats out over Tickle-Me Elmo's. I used the word deadly before because if everyone remembers correctly, some pregnant lady lost her baby because she was trampled in a Walmart line, among other deaths over the years. Now, I'm not saying that the violence and rage doesn't still continue (we all saw this lady throw a shitstorm on youtube (if not click and laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PTe5ARAkPU )), but we can all agree that it is happening at a less alarming rate. We can all thank the stores for staying open longer, extending the amount of sale days, and of course the online shopping deals as well. These key factors have diminished the number of crazies that continue the rage after scarfing their turkeys.
Another bright side to the holidays of this new modern world is the less frequent Toy of the Year type things. I refer back to Tickle-Me Elmo because he was the toy to have. If you were a young child back fifteen years ago and didn't possess a Tickle-Me Elmo, than you were nobody. When it is put like that, it does put more perspective on the fact that children 6 or under do not really know the difference, or what's going on period. In fact, their life up until that point is really a big blur. So for the future, if you become a parent and the toy of the year shit comes back, take a minute and really think about whether or not you want to go fisticuffs over a stuffed animal that you're kid won't even remember existed. But to add to the Toy of the Year tirade, it's nice to see less anticipation and importance of obtaining these things because in the past there would be Christmas Pirates standing in the way of happiness. These Christmas Pirates were usually shitheads without jobs or anything better to do that stood in lines for hours obsessing over getting the Toy of the Year, not to give to their own little Jonnie of Susie, but to sell at ten times the price to parents that would like nothing more than a happy holiday for their child. And because the Christmas Pirates bought all of the must have toys parents would have to pay the next two months of mortgage to make their kid happy and not stand out in school. Since the last ten years or so people have fallen on hard times making their Christmas' already unsatisfactory for the children. The Pirate's weren't making things easier either by essentially holding Christmas and happiness ransom, thus ruining Christmas for all.
I'm not saying these issues are not still happening but the jets have cooled down a bit! Okay, back to Christmas present.
One Thing that I have never liked, even since I was a kid was the Christmas music. I know people have mixed feeling about it. I mean, it's nostalgic, but ultimately these songs are overly repetitive and some are just downright depressing as shit.
Look, Silent Night is just so slow and goddamn holy that it makes me feel like I should be repenting in a church somewhere and not enjoying the holiday cheer. It takes the spike right out of my eggnog, why's it got to do that to me?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is just a pathetic attempt to make all the kids have feeling for the weird kid at school. He's an outcast with that nose and the reindeer won't play with him. But then Rudolf gets in with (the cool kid at school) Santa Clause and then reindeer like him, and then he's special or some shit. Why does a fun song have to be a life lesson? Why couldn't they already have liked Rudolf from beginning to the end? Instead we have to feel bad about the other reindeer not liking him. The song shouldn't have to make us feel bad about Rudolf's situation to make us feel happy in the end.
Frosty the Snowman... I swear this song is about parents not wanting to deal with their crappy kids all day, so they sent the kids out to play in the snow so they wouldn't have to be a parent for the day. And poor Frosty the Snowman, I mean, his life in itself is miserable. He's created with no input of his own, he's dressed in a ridiculous hat and corncob pipe with a carrot nose and charcoaled face. On top of how stupid he looks, he has to baby sit everyone's children all day long and eventually nobody cares about him and he dies. What a life.
Amongst the classics of Christmas songs are the remakes that the pop singers try to put out. I try my hardest and can only find room for two songs in this genre that don't make me want to throw up, the Mariah Carey one and the Christina Aguilera one. But even those get on my nerves after a while. I don't want to hear Irish pop Christmas songs or some greasy R&B dude passionately singing about Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Gross.
While on the topic of holiday songs, I did hear this song in the car the other day, and had to laugh. It was a bit over the edge. It was by Sarah Silverman, love her or hate her, she made me laugh. Had I known it was her I probably wouldn't have thought it was funny, but she tricked me. click and laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gRGMOhslq0
But, what about holiday movies? These movies are all-together on a different level than Christmas music. The worst Christmas movie is like two times better than the best Christmas song, even if Tim Allen is the star of the movie. I wonder when his next Christmas movie is coming out... anyway here are some classic titles that should be on your TV
1. A Christmas Story - everyone seems to like it more the older they and the movie become. It's dark and real: Tongues on poles (don't get the wrong idea), eyes getting shot out, and that creepy dad with the leg lamp. That is Christmas is America.
2. Jingle All the Way - Arnold Schwarzenegger punches a deer unconscious in this toy of the year movie. Arnold is awesome.
3. Nightmare Before Christmas - for the Tim Burton mall goths
4. Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) - Classic. Grab a can of who-hash and enjoy
5. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - Chevy Chase always delivers
6. Home Alone - Swinging paint cans hitting burglars in the face doesn't get old.
7. Love Actually - for the love sappy
8. Elf - Will Ferrell
So, here is a quick list of positive things about Christmas to boost the holiday jeer.
1. Candy Canes - Does your uncle have horrible whiskey breath and a knack for telling you secrets when he's drunk? Give him a candy cane.
2. Mistle Toe - It's worth a shot, right?
3. Pine Trees / Wreathes - The fresh pine smell adds to the mix of the season. It's a bonus.
4. Giving Good Gifts - Receiving gifts is cool too, but giving good gifts will make you a legend, and legends never die.
5. Secret Santa's - When it is a total mystery of who you have to buy for and you don't know who has to buy for you, then it is in full effect. Otherwise it becomes work. But ultimately, it is a great money saver.
6. The better mood everyone seems to be in. It's contagious. Getting cut-off on your ride to work is less stress inducing, door-holding is at the height of it's yearly popularity, lots of things are better when you are already in a good mood.
7. The Holiday Parties - Christmas Eve and Day tend to be filled with food and desserts for everyone's enjoyment. Unlike other random gatherings, you don't have to pretend someone made great cookies and that it is something special about their recipe that makes you want to keep eating them. Everyone is usually getting down and eating so much that it becomes one big blur of food intake. Everyone is doing it, and everyone gains a couple of holiday pounds together making it okay.
These are just some of the great things about the holidays. If I made a complete list it would have to be it's own blog entry... So we are moving on.
Now, it's time to talk about something that a lot of people tend to do, which is re-gifting. I have personally never done it, I am too afraid that I'll get caught and be a Christmas embarrassment, but, I'm sure it can be done. If you receive an unwanted gift from one set of friends, you can go and re-gift it to another person in another set of friends. Just make sure the person you are re-gifting to doesn't know the other person. And make sure that these two people don't exclusively know you, meaning you are their only connection to each other. If so, what you gave and received from them may come up since talking about you is the only thing they can do when they see each other. And never, ever, ever, re-gift back to the same person, even if it is one or two years later. People don't forget!
So, we've covered shopping, Black Friday, gifting, holiday music and movies, and some of the better things the holiday season has to offer. Now, go enjoy.
Jack Dalton is going to be a bit of a ghost of Christmas past for a minute, to remind everyone of how far we have come as a society. The holidays in the 80's, 90's, and 00's were sadly plagued by many things, some even deadly, one of which occurred on the darkest day of the year, Black Friday. Black Friday used to be a day of reckoning, one which was filled with angry hockey dads ripping each other's throats out over Tickle-Me Elmo's. I used the word deadly before because if everyone remembers correctly, some pregnant lady lost her baby because she was trampled in a Walmart line, among other deaths over the years. Now, I'm not saying that the violence and rage doesn't still continue (we all saw this lady throw a shitstorm on youtube (if not click and laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PTe5ARAkPU )), but we can all agree that it is happening at a less alarming rate. We can all thank the stores for staying open longer, extending the amount of sale days, and of course the online shopping deals as well. These key factors have diminished the number of crazies that continue the rage after scarfing their turkeys.
Another bright side to the holidays of this new modern world is the less frequent Toy of the Year type things. I refer back to Tickle-Me Elmo because he was the toy to have. If you were a young child back fifteen years ago and didn't possess a Tickle-Me Elmo, than you were nobody. When it is put like that, it does put more perspective on the fact that children 6 or under do not really know the difference, or what's going on period. In fact, their life up until that point is really a big blur. So for the future, if you become a parent and the toy of the year shit comes back, take a minute and really think about whether or not you want to go fisticuffs over a stuffed animal that you're kid won't even remember existed. But to add to the Toy of the Year tirade, it's nice to see less anticipation and importance of obtaining these things because in the past there would be Christmas Pirates standing in the way of happiness. These Christmas Pirates were usually shitheads without jobs or anything better to do that stood in lines for hours obsessing over getting the Toy of the Year, not to give to their own little Jonnie of Susie, but to sell at ten times the price to parents that would like nothing more than a happy holiday for their child. And because the Christmas Pirates bought all of the must have toys parents would have to pay the next two months of mortgage to make their kid happy and not stand out in school. Since the last ten years or so people have fallen on hard times making their Christmas' already unsatisfactory for the children. The Pirate's weren't making things easier either by essentially holding Christmas and happiness ransom, thus ruining Christmas for all.
I'm not saying these issues are not still happening but the jets have cooled down a bit! Okay, back to Christmas present.
One Thing that I have never liked, even since I was a kid was the Christmas music. I know people have mixed feeling about it. I mean, it's nostalgic, but ultimately these songs are overly repetitive and some are just downright depressing as shit.
Look, Silent Night is just so slow and goddamn holy that it makes me feel like I should be repenting in a church somewhere and not enjoying the holiday cheer. It takes the spike right out of my eggnog, why's it got to do that to me?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is just a pathetic attempt to make all the kids have feeling for the weird kid at school. He's an outcast with that nose and the reindeer won't play with him. But then Rudolf gets in with (the cool kid at school) Santa Clause and then reindeer like him, and then he's special or some shit. Why does a fun song have to be a life lesson? Why couldn't they already have liked Rudolf from beginning to the end? Instead we have to feel bad about the other reindeer not liking him. The song shouldn't have to make us feel bad about Rudolf's situation to make us feel happy in the end.
Frosty the Snowman... I swear this song is about parents not wanting to deal with their crappy kids all day, so they sent the kids out to play in the snow so they wouldn't have to be a parent for the day. And poor Frosty the Snowman, I mean, his life in itself is miserable. He's created with no input of his own, he's dressed in a ridiculous hat and corncob pipe with a carrot nose and charcoaled face. On top of how stupid he looks, he has to baby sit everyone's children all day long and eventually nobody cares about him and he dies. What a life.
Amongst the classics of Christmas songs are the remakes that the pop singers try to put out. I try my hardest and can only find room for two songs in this genre that don't make me want to throw up, the Mariah Carey one and the Christina Aguilera one. But even those get on my nerves after a while. I don't want to hear Irish pop Christmas songs or some greasy R&B dude passionately singing about Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Gross.
While on the topic of holiday songs, I did hear this song in the car the other day, and had to laugh. It was a bit over the edge. It was by Sarah Silverman, love her or hate her, she made me laugh. Had I known it was her I probably wouldn't have thought it was funny, but she tricked me. click and laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gRGMOhslq0
But, what about holiday movies? These movies are all-together on a different level than Christmas music. The worst Christmas movie is like two times better than the best Christmas song, even if Tim Allen is the star of the movie. I wonder when his next Christmas movie is coming out... anyway here are some classic titles that should be on your TV
1. A Christmas Story - everyone seems to like it more the older they and the movie become. It's dark and real: Tongues on poles (don't get the wrong idea), eyes getting shot out, and that creepy dad with the leg lamp. That is Christmas is America.
2. Jingle All the Way - Arnold Schwarzenegger punches a deer unconscious in this toy of the year movie. Arnold is awesome.
3. Nightmare Before Christmas - for the Tim Burton mall goths
4. Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) - Classic. Grab a can of who-hash and enjoy
5. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - Chevy Chase always delivers
6. Home Alone - Swinging paint cans hitting burglars in the face doesn't get old.
7. Love Actually - for the love sappy
8. Elf - Will Ferrell
So, here is a quick list of positive things about Christmas to boost the holiday jeer.
1. Candy Canes - Does your uncle have horrible whiskey breath and a knack for telling you secrets when he's drunk? Give him a candy cane.
2. Mistle Toe - It's worth a shot, right?
3. Pine Trees / Wreathes - The fresh pine smell adds to the mix of the season. It's a bonus.
4. Giving Good Gifts - Receiving gifts is cool too, but giving good gifts will make you a legend, and legends never die.
5. Secret Santa's - When it is a total mystery of who you have to buy for and you don't know who has to buy for you, then it is in full effect. Otherwise it becomes work. But ultimately, it is a great money saver.
6. The better mood everyone seems to be in. It's contagious. Getting cut-off on your ride to work is less stress inducing, door-holding is at the height of it's yearly popularity, lots of things are better when you are already in a good mood.
7. The Holiday Parties - Christmas Eve and Day tend to be filled with food and desserts for everyone's enjoyment. Unlike other random gatherings, you don't have to pretend someone made great cookies and that it is something special about their recipe that makes you want to keep eating them. Everyone is usually getting down and eating so much that it becomes one big blur of food intake. Everyone is doing it, and everyone gains a couple of holiday pounds together making it okay.
These are just some of the great things about the holidays. If I made a complete list it would have to be it's own blog entry... So we are moving on.
Now, it's time to talk about something that a lot of people tend to do, which is re-gifting. I have personally never done it, I am too afraid that I'll get caught and be a Christmas embarrassment, but, I'm sure it can be done. If you receive an unwanted gift from one set of friends, you can go and re-gift it to another person in another set of friends. Just make sure the person you are re-gifting to doesn't know the other person. And make sure that these two people don't exclusively know you, meaning you are their only connection to each other. If so, what you gave and received from them may come up since talking about you is the only thing they can do when they see each other. And never, ever, ever, re-gift back to the same person, even if it is one or two years later. People don't forget!
So, we've covered shopping, Black Friday, gifting, holiday music and movies, and some of the better things the holiday season has to offer. Now, go enjoy.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Pint and the Pen Contest Entry
So, it's been a while since I've been able to post, but, I wanted to share something that I was working on. This is my entry for a contest that Bukowski's Tavern and Harpoon Brewery put together called "The Pint and the Pen Writing Contest. They ask for a short story of 500-750 words. The catch is it must also contain the words "pint" and "pen," along with names "Bukowski" and "Harpoon."
I wrote this in installments, a little bit at a time. At its original completion it was 900 words, and editing took a bit of life out of the story, but nevertheless, I sick of editing and I say that it is done. Enjoy?
Down Went the Whale
They say Charles Bukowski's alter ego was Chinaski, a pint-crashing, poetry-writing, bitch-smacking, barrel-chested, Donkey Kong of a man, who would pick a fight with anyone just to give people a show. And in 1994, when Bukowski died and his body went on to become a crust in the dirt, that alter ego lived on within another man named Ricky Mantis.
Ricky is my roommate. Every day he can be found hunched over, scribbling on mangled papers to hang above his bed. Some would call these scribblings poetry, which is usually questionable behavior around here, but questioning him will probably get your arms broken. So, if you enjoy having broken appendages, go for it.
It wasn't until two months after he moved in that the silence was broken. While in our beds, he turned over, growled his throat clear, and asked, “Can I have a pen?”
“You going to give it back?” I whispered.
“Never.”
“Can I get somethin' in return then? What you got?”
Mantis groaned. Slowly climbing to his knees on his bed, he reached for a paper on his wall and swiped it down with his bear claw. He held the crinkled paper with a stiff arm in front of him. “How about this?”
“What's that?” I asked.
“It's what you've been wondering about.”
“What do you mean?”
“You want it or not?” Mantis asked firmly.
Nerved and confused, the deal was final. A pen for a crumpled piece of paper that was tossed at me in the dark. Too dark to see, I held it for the next day.
At the side of the court, under the sun, waiting to ball, I took my part of the forced barter out from my pocket and read.
Asking her kindly to shut her blow hole may have been my first mistake,
Or was it the smashing of her window that made my fist break?
I can't remember it clearly,
But, my bottle was empty,
And there wasn't another near me,
So, the ground we stood was about to shake.
Luna, the slavestress, kept her head turned,
Patiently ignoring, slowly igniting.
One eye one the orca, and the other on the bottom
Of a glass half full with whiskey.
Grabbing the glass with the right,
The patron opposed,
So, my left left him wailing on the floor.
My reading was interrupted by a pass of the ball that slapped attention into my face. Juanito stood, bent-over laughing. It was his way of telling me it was my turn on the court. I placed the folded paper under the bench. At the game's end it was gone. I feared for the worst.
Later that day, in the mess hall, Juanito stood tall on his seat, while conversations pattered off. I watched with twitching nerves as he read Ricky's poem out loud to everyone. That is when I got to hear the ending and what Mantis had meant when he said, “It's what you've been wondering about.”
Luna, the screamstress, came running toward,
It was about time that her attention turned,
Asking for a drink, she declined.
Asking me to leave, so did I.
Luna pushed, splashing drinks,
Mantis took his fountain ink and
Plunged the pen through her blubber hand.
Luna then sank to the floor.
When police arrived they found,
The front glass window in pain,
A hunted whale of 300lbs and the patron man laying down.
It wasn't hard to see the source,
A six-foot four man bleeding out the fist.
Juanito left the mess hall in a stretcher. Ricky left in Juanito's blood. Mantis went away for two weeks on account of the beating. It was the longest two weeks of my life. If that's what he'd done to Juan, then what would he do to me? I only wondered.
When Mantis did come back, it wasn't long before he asked, “You think I'm going to beat you, huh?” I didn't say anything. “Well, let me tell you something. People make mistakes. That's why we are here. But, Juanito on the other hand,” Mantis paused. “Well, he deserved what he got.”
Finally, I could breathe. “So, you're not going to kill me?”
“No. You are my pen supplier. How else will I write?” Ricky cackled. “Hear they got a nickname for me.”
“Yeah. Ricky 'Harpoon' Mantis. You know, cause you stabbed the fat waitress.”
Ricky laughed harder. “Nice. I like it.”
The End.
I'll be at Bukowski's Tavern in Cambridge to see if I lost on the 26th. See you there?
I wrote this in installments, a little bit at a time. At its original completion it was 900 words, and editing took a bit of life out of the story, but nevertheless, I sick of editing and I say that it is done. Enjoy?
Down Went the Whale
They say Charles Bukowski's alter ego was Chinaski, a pint-crashing, poetry-writing, bitch-smacking, barrel-chested, Donkey Kong of a man, who would pick a fight with anyone just to give people a show. And in 1994, when Bukowski died and his body went on to become a crust in the dirt, that alter ego lived on within another man named Ricky Mantis.
Ricky is my roommate. Every day he can be found hunched over, scribbling on mangled papers to hang above his bed. Some would call these scribblings poetry, which is usually questionable behavior around here, but questioning him will probably get your arms broken. So, if you enjoy having broken appendages, go for it.
It wasn't until two months after he moved in that the silence was broken. While in our beds, he turned over, growled his throat clear, and asked, “Can I have a pen?”
“You going to give it back?” I whispered.
“Never.”
“Can I get somethin' in return then? What you got?”
Mantis groaned. Slowly climbing to his knees on his bed, he reached for a paper on his wall and swiped it down with his bear claw. He held the crinkled paper with a stiff arm in front of him. “How about this?”
“What's that?” I asked.
“It's what you've been wondering about.”
“What do you mean?”
“You want it or not?” Mantis asked firmly.
Nerved and confused, the deal was final. A pen for a crumpled piece of paper that was tossed at me in the dark. Too dark to see, I held it for the next day.
At the side of the court, under the sun, waiting to ball, I took my part of the forced barter out from my pocket and read.
Asking her kindly to shut her blow hole may have been my first mistake,
Or was it the smashing of her window that made my fist break?
I can't remember it clearly,
But, my bottle was empty,
And there wasn't another near me,
So, the ground we stood was about to shake.
Luna, the slavestress, kept her head turned,
Patiently ignoring, slowly igniting.
One eye one the orca, and the other on the bottom
Of a glass half full with whiskey.
Grabbing the glass with the right,
The patron opposed,
So, my left left him wailing on the floor.
My reading was interrupted by a pass of the ball that slapped attention into my face. Juanito stood, bent-over laughing. It was his way of telling me it was my turn on the court. I placed the folded paper under the bench. At the game's end it was gone. I feared for the worst.
Later that day, in the mess hall, Juanito stood tall on his seat, while conversations pattered off. I watched with twitching nerves as he read Ricky's poem out loud to everyone. That is when I got to hear the ending and what Mantis had meant when he said, “It's what you've been wondering about.”
Luna, the screamstress, came running toward,
It was about time that her attention turned,
Asking for a drink, she declined.
Asking me to leave, so did I.
Luna pushed, splashing drinks,
Mantis took his fountain ink and
Plunged the pen through her blubber hand.
Luna then sank to the floor.
When police arrived they found,
The front glass window in pain,
A hunted whale of 300lbs and the patron man laying down.
It wasn't hard to see the source,
A six-foot four man bleeding out the fist.
Juanito left the mess hall in a stretcher. Ricky left in Juanito's blood. Mantis went away for two weeks on account of the beating. It was the longest two weeks of my life. If that's what he'd done to Juan, then what would he do to me? I only wondered.
When Mantis did come back, it wasn't long before he asked, “You think I'm going to beat you, huh?” I didn't say anything. “Well, let me tell you something. People make mistakes. That's why we are here. But, Juanito on the other hand,” Mantis paused. “Well, he deserved what he got.”
Finally, I could breathe. “So, you're not going to kill me?”
“No. You are my pen supplier. How else will I write?” Ricky cackled. “Hear they got a nickname for me.”
“Yeah. Ricky 'Harpoon' Mantis. You know, cause you stabbed the fat waitress.”
Ricky laughed harder. “Nice. I like it.”
The End.
I'll be at Bukowski's Tavern in Cambridge to see if I lost on the 26th. See you there?
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